We are ALL experts in having the feeling of dissatisfaction. It is Never enough. Satisfaction is sometimes there but the glow of satisfaction fades as soon as we’re yearning for something else. Why is that?
In life, there is always a portion of disagreeable experiences.
Sickness, pain and distress are obvious examples. We suffer. From anxiety, from dissatisfaction, from stress or a loss of purpose. Feeling incapable of dealing with life’s challenges. The loss of a loved one, being let down by a friend or dealing with all the disturbing events that are happening in our world.
Our usual responses are seeking pleasure, greater success, avoidance or a different relationship. But these feelings cannot be relieved for long by these responses. This is because the suffering and plain dissatisfaction (dukkha) stems from an inner need.
Peace and harmony on the mat (Ibiza)
You could call it a longing of the Heart – for understanding, for peace and harmony.
Because it’s an inner or spiritual need, no matter how we try to alleviate such feelings by adding something pleasant to our life, it never quite succeeds.
As long as we are motivated to seek fulfillment in what is transient and vulnerable. And it doesn’t take much introspection to recognize how vulnerable our bodies and feelings are. We will always suffer disappointment and a sense of loss.
“Being associated with what you do not like is duhhka (dissatisfaction), being separated from what you like is dukkha. In brief, the compulsive habits of body and mind are dukkha.”
By always seeking fulfillment in what is transient, we miss out on what life could be offering if we were more attentive and attuned. Not using our spiritual potential, we are motivated by feelings and moods. However, when insight wisdom reveals that this is a habit rather than our true nature, we realize that we can change it.
Once, we have understood fully that we can grow and develop our potential, we will be able of ‘letting go’ of our conscious and unconscious self-centered habits.
When we are no longer defensive or aggressive, whenever we respond to life without prejudice or fixed views, the mind rests in an inner harmony. The habits and viewpoints that make life appear hostile or inadequate are checked.
We can’t ‘let go’ until we become capable of that through cultivation of our spiritual nature.
All that is needed is the wisdom to know that there is a way and the means to accomplish that way.
Taking your through the 5 steps that lead the way on how to find satisfaction:
Mindful Attention
Meditation is the repeated focusing of attention upon an image, a word, or a theme in order to calm the mind and consider the meaning of that image or word.
In the practice of insight meditation, this focusing of attention also has another purpose – to more fully understand the nature of the mind.
This can be done by using the meditation object as a still reference point to help revealing the attitudes that are otherwise buried beneath the mind’s surface activity.
We can use our own bodies and minds as objects of meditation. A common object, for example, is the sensation associated with the breath during the process of normal breathing.
If one sits still, closes the eyes and focuses on the breath, in due time clarity and calm WILL arise.
In this state of mind, tensions, expectations and habitual moods can be more clearly discerned and through the practice of enquiry, resolved.
Mindful preparation of food (Italy)
It is possible to maintain meditation in the course of daily activity as well as while sitting still in one place. One can focus attention on the movement of the body, the physical feelings that arise, or the thoughts and moods that flow through the mind. This mobile attentiveness is called ‘mindfulness’.
Through mindfulness one realizes an attention that is serene.
Although it is centered on the body and mind it is dispassionate and not bound up with any particular physical or mental experience.
This detachment is a foretaste of what we sometimes call nirvana / nibbana / enlightenment – a state of peace and happiness, independent of circumstances.
Nirvana is a ‘natural’ state, that is, it is not something we have to acquire or add to our true nature, it is the way the mind is when it is free from pressure and confused habits.
Just as waking up dispels the dream state naturally, the mind that has become clear through mindfulness is no longer overshadowed by obsessive thoughts, doubts and worries.
No Regrets
When asked to explain why his disciples always looked cheerful, the Buddha commented:
“They have no regret over the past, nor do they brood over the future. They live in the present; therefore they are radiant.”
Someone who is fully cultivated this way finds serenity and patience in themselves in times of difficulty and the wish to share good fortune when things go well.
They live a life free from guilt, and, rather than having violent mood swings, the mind and heart stay steady and buoyant through the circumstances of life.
These are the fruits; but like most fruit, they have to be cultivated slowly and persistently, with good-heartedness.
Stop chasing Satisfaction in Gathering more Things…
Usually, we aren’t very good at figuring out what will make us happy. We constantly hunger for luxury, status, high fly jobs, bigger paychecks. And yes, initially these things do boost our happiness.
But the glow of satisfaction fades as soon as we’re yearning for something else. We think everything will be wonderful when we move into the bigger house or have the bigger paycheck. We don’t realize that, after a few months, we will take the extra space or the extra money for granted.
The curious thing is, we know all this… This is not rocket science and still… You would think that experience and knowledge should help us avoid repeating such mistakes? It doesn’t.
Find your Tribe
Look for people and environments that boost your energy. People who inspire you, make you laugh and support you. These people are crucial on your path to a little bit more inner peace and satisfaction.
Companionship of like minded people is worth cherishing and a must in our growth.
This also means, staying far away from people that steal your energy and joy.
Finding your tribe is not that difficult.
It really isn’t.
Go on a yoga holiday, a meditation retreat, take half a day off from work and do a funky workshop.
Put your smart phone on flight mode and go for a walk.
Grab a tea somewhere and look up, into the world, instead of down to your screen!
So many great people are already out there, just waiting for you to connect with them.
It is only when we start redirecting our energy into the ‘right’ direction, that the magic will happen.
“Grab a tea”, with a little bit of sugar… (Morocco)
Trust Yourself
The source of this article is from “An outline of Buddhism” from Amaravati Publications/Theravada tradition.
I received this information from Ajahn, a wonderful monk whom I sometimes invite on my retreats in Italy.
Buddhist monks and nuns are not preachers, even prohibited from teaching, unless asked to do so.
It is in the same spirit that I’m sharing this article about these 5 steps on how to find more satisfaction with you today. Over the past couple of weeks, both on my yoga retreats as in my life coachings, the conversations kept coming back to Satisfaction. And that’s why I’m sharing. As a form of support, for you to gain more confidence, self-respect and live the life that you deserve.
“Do not rely upon what you have heard proclaimed, or upon custom, or upon rumour, or upon scripture, or inference or established principles or clever reasoning, or favouring a pet theory.
Do not be convinced by someone else’s apparent intelligence, nor out of respect for a teacher.
When you yourself know what is wrong, foolish, and unworthy, and leads to harm and discontent, abandon it.
And when you yourself know what is right, develop it. “
Namaste,
Rachel
About Rachel Bonkink
Rachel successfully organizes life changing yoga holidays and retreats in Italy, Morocco, Ibiza and Thailand. Revealing Vajra, is seen by many as the reference for truly unique yoga retreats, offering so much more than yoga asanas. In between her travels, she ‘s a high-end life coach in Antwerp and Marrakech.
“I have been teaching yoga and meditation for several years now and I do what I do because it is who I am – it is what I love to do. Traveling the world and inspiring people in anyway I can.”
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