Negative thoughts don’t knock. They let themselves in.
They arrive uninvited—mid-shower, during emails, in the car, or while you’re smiling at a dinner table—and suddenly, you’re spiraling.
And here’s the part that’s hard to admit, even for many of my clients: the more we try to silence them with logic, the louder they become.
As a meditation teacher, I’ve spent years straddling two worlds—science and stillness. I’ve seen how cognitive approaches can identify patterns, reshape beliefs, and help us better understand our inner landscape. But I’ve also seen their limits. Some thoughts can’t be out-reasoned. They’re too fast, too slippery, too loud.
That’s where meditation comes in.
When Understanding Isn’t Enough
There’s a subtle form of self-sabotage that hides in self-awareness. We think that if we can just understand why we feel bad, we’ll stop feeling bad. We dissect, analyze, label—and sometimes, yes, this brings relief. But sometimes it keeps us trapped in our heads, watching the same storm on loop.
What I teach in meditation is something radical for most modern minds:
You don’t have to believe every thought that appears. There is also no reason to fight negative thoughts. The only to really do is to learn how to watch and observe thoughts.
The mind thinks like the lungs breathe. That’s what it does. But when you learn to sit still with those thoughts, without needing to fix them or flee from them, something begins to shift. You’re not inside the storm anymore. You’re under the sky watching it pass.
The Problem with Positive Thinking
We’re told to ‘stay positive’, to ‘choose happy thoughts’, to ‘manifest better’.”But real psychological healing—real mental strength—comes not from forcing a better mood, but from building the capacity to stay present with whatever is arising.
Participants sometimes come to my silent retreats, exhausted from years of high-functioning anxiety. They read all the books. Tried all the tools. But what changes people for real is not another mental framework. It is three days of silence. No scrolling. No coping mechanisms and no hiding. Just yourself and a supporting environment ‘to be’. Just to be You.
Allowing to be with your thoughts, not running away, no distractions, just being.
Why a Meditation Retreat Works When Other Things Don’t
The reason so many people find deep transformation at meditation or yoga retreats isn’t just the beauty of the setting. (Though waking up in Morocco to golden light and mint tea does help.)
It’s the container.
You’re stepping out of your life. Out of your habits. Out of the roles you play. And into a space where everything is designed to help you meet yourself again—with gentleness, structure, and professional guidance.
As a meditation teacher, I know how important the nervous system is. You can’t think your way into healing if your body still believes it’s under threat. Retreats create a safe, calm, held environment that tells the body: it’s okay to let go now. It’s ok to allow a deep relaxation to happen. Nothing to brace for, no acute danger from any angle.
And when that happens—when the body softens, the mind follows. That’s where meditation begins to do its deeper work.
So—How Do You Deal with Negative Thoughts?
You stop trying to deal with them at all.
So that you learn to relate to them differently. You stop identifying. You start observing. And slowly, over time, you remember what every great spiritual tradition and psychological model ultimately agrees on:
You are not your thoughts.
You are the one witnessing them.
And in that space—between thought and reaction—lives your freedom.
Looking to go deeper?
If your mind feels too loud and your life too full, the upcoming silent and yoga retreats in Morocco are designed exactly for this work. You’ll be held by an experienced teacher (yes, me! ), supported by an incredible team, and surrounded by the kind of natural beauty that makes you breathe differently.
👉 [Learn more about our Morocco Retreats here]
Rachel Bonkink is an experienced meditation teacher, a certified mindset coach and she very successfully organised and hosted over 100 worldwide yoga and silence retreats.
For the past 13 years, Revealing Vajra is the standard for amazing retreats. Her book, Flex Your Mind, talks about the yoga philosophy and how to bring that into your daily life.
In recent years, more time and dedication goes to supporting cancer patients in their journey with meditation and coaching.
In a previous (working) life, Rachel was an operational director for a medical market research company in Belgium. Portugal is home.
For workshops and meditations in English, Dutch and French, visit www.rachelbonkink.com
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